The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
