non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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