I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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