I just saw a hot homeless man
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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