I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
