Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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