VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
