ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
