we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
