She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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