I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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