Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
