Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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