I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
