Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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