I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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