I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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