After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize