Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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