If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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