If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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