If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
