i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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