Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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