lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
