watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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