So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There r osticjed everywhere
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
