A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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