my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Two words: nipple clamps
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