You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
