Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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