Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
