i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
