5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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