happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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