You can't motorboat a personality
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
