Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
