she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
