airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
