I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
