would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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