you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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