After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
