I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
