For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
