so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
