i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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