i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
