im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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