i may or may not be watching the land before time
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
