He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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